Rattles shaking, our baby played contentedly on the floor next to me. I waded through piles of boxes looking for master bedroom items. A familiar voice came on the television… the country music star, Trisha Yearwood. She apparently has a cooking show now. I listened as she called her husband “Gartha Stewart” (aka Garth Brooks) and giggled at some of the things he likes to do in the kitchen. She went on to talk about when she married Garth, she “inherited 3 daughters. Being a bonus mom, its very important…” her voice trailed off as she talked about cooking favorites and such.
I've always had a sour taste in my mouth for the term "step-mother". Perhaps it was because of the numerous fairy tales I watched as a kid. Or maybe the horror stories my mom told me about her step mother. Either way, I never dreamed I would one day become... dunt-dah-dun... a wicked step-mother! I pray I never do. Given over to my flesh, I can be pretty wicked, but PRAISE God, I am redeemed! When I married Dave I made it my goal to be as far from wicked as I could possibly be. I know I've been nowhere near perfect, but I always try to be Christ-like as best as I can.
Bonus mom… I like it. I’ve always referred to myself as the smom, or back-up mom. But Bonus mom is WAAAAAYYYYY better! And that is exactly how I long for my “bonus kids” to see me… as a bonus to their lives. Not taking away, or trying to replace, but adding to what they already have.
Honestly, it’s also how I long for their mom to see me too, a bonus for her children, and a bonus to help her in raising their children as well. Someone who will be Jesus to them, love them where they are at, and encourage them to respect her and love her well. Obviously, their dad would, hopefully, already see this!
It isn’t easy to keep these thoughts in the forefront of my heart. Lots of hurt and painful situations come into play. Times when I wish I could just fend for myself and want to just repeat “what about me? What about me? What about me?” But then there is that calling I continually hear…
The calling of the “bonus mom”… To be the best reflection of Jesus Christ that I can be to ALL people, no matter what. This is deep stuff. Not the kind of thing you can accomplish on mere woman might. But rather, it takes the Almighty power of a Great God and His Spirit residing within, to rise above.
For “He is the vine and we are the branches, apart from Him we can do nothing.”
I know it is only FROM HIM that I can receive strength, courage and peace to go where I am called and live as I am called to live.
“Not by might, nor by power, but by MY Spirit, says the Lord.”
Yep- that is the ONLY way.